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Where Bad Haircuts Are Born

A few months back Jimmy Johns was holding a "customer appreciation" day across town. I gave in and headed to my closest location to grab a dollar sandwich. While waiting in line, I saw this. 


Upon closer inspection, I almost considered this to be a well played joke. Look at some of these cuts.


Were the sunglasses truly needed here?


I started to look at each one individually. I wasn't really sure what I was looking at. I nothing something about each hair cut, each model.

Let's look at a few of these one by one

We start with number 1. Apparently people don't always know how to explain to the barber "Can you please make me look like my ultra conservative grandfather?" So they had to give it a number. Not any number... it's number 1.


Number 2 is pretty much an ungrayed version of number 1. So maybe, just make me look like my homophobia, Mexican hating father.


Number 3 I was starting to notice a pattern. Not so much in the haircuts, but the expressions of the professional hair models. Are they not hair models so much as people being shamed? Have we witnessed a new realm in public humiliation? Are we witnessing hair cut shame?


No better way to highlight a receding hairline by giving you half a flat top. Again, this poor man looks shamed.


More shaming. This man looks close to tears.


Looking at this man, I'm beginning to think they stole these images off the registered sex offender's website. This man, is windowless, white van shamed.


Now number 10 I found educational. Who knew you could have your mullet professionally groomed with clippers. Mullet shamed.


Number 17 was smart enough to wear sunglasses. Still shamed, but hiding his tears... his now empty soul.


I know this face, it's after a gym shower shamming. This guy is writing a list and wondering where his parents keep their gun.


Number 24... what can we stay about him? This shaming is FABULOUS!


Number 25 is actually not a shaming. This boy seems satisfied with new haircut. He can't wait to see how it looks as he's kicking the shit out of the brown kids across down. His Pa will be proud.


29 and 30. This is why you don't talk back to your parents. This is shaming that will scar you for life. 30, cheer up buddy. Hair grows back... and your parents eventually die.


We end with 32. Probably the saddest of all the shaming. Not often can a photograph capture the emotion of the subject. But if there ever was a picture that captured rock bottom... I just found it.

So I end wondering, how old is this? Who actually has EVER walked in a said "give me a 23". Where is this photographer today? How many of these models are responsible for public shootings? 

If you know anything about this chart, or even better one of the models... please reach out and you'll be my hero for life. 


Link to the chart I found online

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