10. Porn Star
At one time a mustache was a requirement to work in the sex
entertainment business. As lower area hair became less desirable, so did
all hair everywhere. There are still those who wear the pornstache. I
salute them. My inability to grow a good mustache was the only thing
keeping me out of “the business.”
They are there to protect and serve, while looking manly as Hell. You
can’t have a badge and a gun without donning that awesome
authoritstache. If you eat as many doughnuts as these guys, you would
really value that advantage of a flavor saver.
8. Princess Rescuer
Sure, you thought it would be a great accessory, but that was before you
realized you were going to spend your days going from castle to castle
saving a princess. You know you’ll never be able to shave it off now.
Your razor is in another castle.
7. Movie Critic
All best best have them: Gene Shalit, Leonard Maltin, Joel Siegel. There
is something about a really big and scary mustache that makes you have
to watch movies by yourself and talk about them the next day to complete
strangers. Shave it off, and perhaps someone just might go with you.
6. Karate Master
Your mustache is good, but my mustache is better. If you’re going to
learn karate to avenge the death of your father, then you better be sure
your master has a big ol’ mustache and an awesome leg sweep.
Nothing hides bad oral hygiene like a gaggle of hair on your upper lip.
If you can’t grow one to the carnival’s satisfaction, you can always
glue one of those lame caterpillars they give away at the dart booth
onto your lip. No one could tell the difference.
Perhaps this really isn’t a job. It’s more of a way of life. How else
are you going to look nice for your mugshot and your profile in the sex
3. Evil Villain
Ever try to be a bad guy without a mustache? No one takes you seriously.
Just try to launch a missile or kidnap the President’s wife without a
really awesome mustache. It just won’t work. An excellent Fu Manchu is
the key to good villainy!
Ladies and gentlemen! Check out my amazing mustache! There is no way you
can command the crowd if you don’t have a powerful mustache. Anything
less, is a county fair.
1. When You Work With Daryl Hall
You’d do it, you’d do it, you’d do it, you’d do it in a minute…. well,
or for a few weeks depending on how long it would take for you to grow
it. It is amazing. It is iconic. Rock it!
50? Just 50 things? There's obviously more but so little time. Want them in a nice little video? Then watch the video I made right here....
I've officially given up on NBC's The Office, and for this I am sad. No one wanted this show to shine more than I. I was a fan of th...
And the look in his face when you learned you didn't
A few years ago I had a dream that I was living in Boise and playing with my daughters. At the time I was currently 1000 miles away re...
Ever see something and think "ooohhhh, now it all makes sense." Ever though I've never actually seen a flying bear with lase...
I was uber excited to watch some niner football. Turns out they have a bye. So it gave me time to find a picture that reflects my mood
I have more love for this than my own video " The Sheening "
Today I discovered two of my favorite flavors are coming together. This is like peanut butter and bananas or beer and anything else, HBO t...
Follow me on Twitter!
Powered by Blogger.
- ► 2014 (20)
- ► 2013 (32)
- ► 2012 (17)
- Rudolph The Red Nose Tauntaun
- This Is Why Your Package Is Late From Amazon
- Twitter Phone vs Facebook Phone
- Best Occupy Wall Street Picture Eva
- Arnold Schwarzenegger's DVD Commentary For Total R...
- Michael J. Fox Had Better Start Aging
- Pixar's New "Brave" Trailer
- 10 Jobs It's Okay To Have A Mustache
- 10 Funniest Business Names
- Will Apple Put An End To Star Trek?
- Driving and BBQ'ing
- ▼ November (11)
- ► 2010 (66)
- ► 2009 (67)
- ► 2006 (32)
- ► 2005 (95)
- ► 2004 (54)