Everyday someone dies from marriage. Gazillions of dollars goes into research each year as they look for answers to fight this killer, yet m...

The Health Risks of Second Hand Marriage

Everyday someone dies from marriage. Gazillions of dollars goes into research each year as they look for answers to fight this killer, yet more and more are dying. I feel for those who are married. Knowing any second they could just drop dead in a horrific manner. But what about us? The single people who are surrounded by married people. Those, like me, who suffer from second hand marriage.

We are the nameless victims. The friends who have to listen to all their married problems. The weeks of no sex, how they are unappreciated for their hard work, how the toilet seat is left in that position for a reason. These and many other gripes we are subjected to hear about on a daily basis. Causing us to feel as if we were married ourselves. So much pain due to our friendship to those in a matrimonial contract.

It's been several years since I quit marriage and it's taken all that time to get myself back to a healthy stature. But as I listen to my friend Bob tell me about the baby shower he's forced to attend this weekend instead of going to the bbq at Jim's house, I begin to cough uncontrollably. Bob might as well be sticking a knife in my chest.

So for those of you who are married, those who have forsaken their own health by getting married... please think of us as you're whining about your spouse or telling us about the life you COULD have had.

You're killing use with, one baby picture at a time.

0 comments:

Hey Guys, I've started pre-production on a documentary about an amazing friend. One of those people you know who had everything, lost ev...

Who Wants To Be A Hollywood Movie Producer?

Hey Guys, I've started pre-production on a documentary about an amazing friend. One of those people you know who had everything, lost everything, got it back due to an odd turn of events and ended up becoming an aging cage fighter. Here's your chance to become a Hollywood producer. For a donation of $20 you'll be a producer of the film, given a real live credit in the film. Even an IMDB credit. For a donation of $100 or more you'll be given a big ass producer credit at the end and a production shirt with 'producer' added and your name. Wouldn't it feel good to help a film maker get his totally awesomatic film made? I'm using my own funds for 50% of the project and am relying on the kindness of my internet friends for the rest. Then you're all invited with me to the Oscars! I've added a paypal button to make it happen. So, make it happen.






0 comments:

Internet rumors are so much fun. Apparently Sandra Bullock and Jesse James have a sex tape. I don't think any title will beat One Nigh...

Top 10 Best Names For Sandra Bullock and Jesse James Sex Tape

Internet rumors are so much fun. Apparently Sandra Bullock and Jesse James have a sex tape. I don't think any title will beat One Night In Paris, but if they're looking for some great names, here are my suggestions.

10. Murder By Hummers

9. While You Were Knocked Out On Rohypnol

8. The DameWhosLicking Man (sound it out)

7. The Lake Whore

6. 28 Lays

5. Two If By Sea, One If By Cup

4. Miss Cunnilingusality

3. The Nut

2. Sperm 2: Armed and Sticky

1. The Back Side

0 comments:

This week I will begin production of my newest project. My good friend Matt and myself are producing a web game show. It's fairly comma...

Web Game Show Time


This week I will begin production of my newest project. My good friend Matt and myself are producing a web game show. It's fairly commando and will allow stupid people to do stupid things. Although it already has a name, we should be calling it UBER AWESOME!

0 comments: