For a few years I resided in Sun Valley, Idaho. I moved there thinking I needed to escape from California as well as a complete reversal in ...

Living In A Ski Resort

For a few years I resided in Sun Valley, Idaho. I moved there thinking I needed to escape from California as well as a complete reversal in climate.

Moving there I completely succeeded.

It was beautiful there, yet cold. Did I mention cold? When snow hit the ground in October it would easily stay until April. You learned quickly to drive in the snow. You learned to do everything in the snow.

I've been watching the news cover the Eastern weather and all I can think is "why don't those idiots who can't seem to drive in the snow just get an inner tube and just play for the day?"

Buy a snow mobile, get a snowboard, or even better... go out and get yourself some skis.

Obviously Sun Valley was known best for the skiing. I only lived a few miles from the base of Bald Mountain so people would always think of me when they were taking their ski holidays. Sure they'd pretend they wanted to see me but in reality they just were a little blown away by room prices at the lodge.

Living in LA you see about a third of the celebrities you'd see why hanging out at the Warm Springs lodge in Sun Valley. My friend Jeff and I would drink beers at the base and rub elbows which dozens of local and visiting celebs. Of course when I say rub elbows I mean we'd quiet drink our beers while trying to convince each other to go talk to one.

We never did.

Though like everyone else, when you first move there you ski like a madman. Which in a few years you whine about the lift pricing and the lines and you only manage to ski when friends are in town. By then... you're truly a local.

As much as I skied there, I never really got 'good'. One of my last memories on the lifts I managed to take one a kid who couldn't be more than 10. It was actually both our faults. He and I weren't paying attention and slammed into each other. I did everything I could to take most of the crash and attempt to save the kid. It worked and he quickly got up and skied away. Did I add that he was laughing. I think I managed to make it back to the lodge on one ski and drink beers the rest of the day. Damn kids and their resiliency.

I miss living there. I had great friends and incredible times. I don't miss trying to start my car in 15 below temps or digging out my driveway for 5 hours only to watch it be blanketed in snow again the next day. Hmmm.

I don't think I could live in snow again.

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You might not want to walk around in this sucker during camping season.

Are Bigfoots Just Really Warm, Happy and Stupid Campers?

You might not want to walk around in this sucker during camping season.

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The Holidays are always an interesting time for me. In most part because I don't really participate. When people ask what I'd like f...

To Regift or Not To Regift

The Holidays are always an interesting time for me. In most part because I don't really participate. When people ask what I'd like for Xmas or my birthday which immediately follows I just reply "thanks but please don't get me anything."

In all honesty I mean it. If there is anything I ever want I usually just buy it myself. The best part about doing that is I don't have to get something for somebody else in return. The only reason I probably didn't buy myself something is because I'm broke or I hate shopping. If someone buys me something, now I have to get them something back. At this point the "I'm broke" or the "I hate shopping" stance just doesn't hold water. I'm committed.

Now... at this point do I hand off one of the many weird and unusable gifts I've been given over the years? I'm not the most conventional person to hit the planet therefore people always feel the need to give me the strangest gifts. As much as I enjoy the wacky, I don't always know what to do with a origami making machine or a boxer dispenser. So they sit on my closet for years until I have an ebay twitch or someone is playing in my office and say "what is this?". My reply is usually "it's yours!"

Why do we even feel the need to give gifts? No one enjoys the awkwardness of opening a gift in front of other people. No one ever really knows anyone else's sizes. No one seems to consider how Christmas time manages to put millions into debt counseling.

But then again... if it wasn't for bad gifting would we still have garage sales?

Well, now that I'm done ranting. I'd like to remind everyone my birthday is February 2nd and I am an XL and look great in blues.

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Years ago I helped start a website called Humor Feed. It was sparked by the desire of the satire online community to work together instead o...

A Touching Article About... Sniff, Sniff... Me

Years ago I helped start a website called Humor Feed. It was sparked by the desire of the satire online community to work together instead of competition. It seemed to work.

Back in my Broken Newz days I would spend 20 plus hours a week updating and promoting the site. Eventually it became my full time job. I would satirize anything I could. Almost nothing was taboo. The more my website evolved towards politics, the more successful it became.

Once I started working on Fark TV I just didn't have the time to work on it anymore and I eventually sold it to a friend.

My old comrades with HumorFeed didn't forget me and made my cold, shriveled heart smile a bit.

Click here to see their story.

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Sure I could have gone out and spent money on you... but would it be THIS special?

My Christmas Gift To You

Sure I could have gone out and spent money on you... but would it be THIS special?

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I like to get the New Year resolutions that I know I'm going to break out of the way as soon as possible. I make them big so when they b...

My New Year's Resolution

I like to get the New Year resolutions that I know I'm going to break out of the way as soon as possible. I make them big so when they break, then break big. Last year I promised myself I'd learn to fly, bend spoons with my mind and reanimate the corpse of Abraham Lincoln. Just as I thought I broke them all.

This year I'm leaning towards 'space' related resolutions. One of which will find me on the surface of Mars by Summer. I'm pretty excited.

Occasionally I make ones that with an once of effort I can keep. This year I will aim to update my blog everyday. This is huge news for the tens of you that read it. My thoughts are that creativity is like a muscle that needs to be exercised everyday. When I'm writing jokes or doing illustrations on a daily basis... creativity comes in massive Tsunamis. So this blog will be my mental gym.

In the meantime I will continue my work with E!. Complete my screenplay and solidify all the other projects I've got floating around midstream. 2010 is gonna be uber awesome and stuff. Heavy on the stuff.

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I look so much like this in Jesus people were hitting me up for wine. It took me a week to grow this much of a beard. It was awesomatic to s...

Happy Birthday Jesus!!!

I look so much like this in Jesus people were hitting me up for wine. It took me a week to grow this much of a beard. It was awesomatic to shave it off.



What an incredible performance of Mike Bridenstine as "Mike" and Matt Komen as "The ugly girl"

When I was shopping as Jesus in the 99 cent store, no one gave me a second look.

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Here is a little video I made for Comedy.com last Xmas. It stars the UBER talented Mike Bridenstine and Jesse Coccoli. Watch it or else damm...

Santa Sex Tape

Here is a little video I made for Comedy.com last Xmas. It stars the UBER talented Mike Bridenstine and Jesse Coccoli. Watch it or else dammit!

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Aliens and Jesus. My two favorite nonexistant things

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I've you're only going to watch one Star Trek Video all day, make it this one. Happy in Paraguay

Star Trek Peeps Are Happy In Paraguay

I've you're only going to watch one Star Trek Video all day, make it this one. Happy in Paraguay

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This is what happens when I can't sleep at night. Tiger Woods Golf and Grand Theft Auto... two of my favorite games are now combined int...

Tiger Woods' Grand Theft Auto

This is what happens when I can't sleep at night. Tiger Woods Golf and Grand Theft Auto... two of my favorite games are now combined into one.

click the image for bigger goodness.

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I'm not going to try and fool you here, I'm not very good at marriage. I know... big shocker. I've made attempts from time to...

Holding the Office of 'Married'

I'm not going to try and fool you here, I'm not very good at marriage.

I know... big shocker.

I've made attempts from time to time and have conceded to the fact that I am a serial monogamist. The whole "lifetime commitment" is really more than I can wake up to each day. I began to think there was something wrong with me.

After much thought I realized it wasn't me. It was marriage itself. We've been doing it wrong the whole time. Too many rash decisions based on current emotions, emotions that won't be around years from now. Maybe even months. Geez, maybe even the next day. (This applies to trips to Vegas.)

You can't convince me you're going to love that person 40 years from now as much as you do today. And when that happens, what do you do hot shot... what do you do?

Well, I've found the answer and it was sitting in our backyard the whole damn time.

Marriage Terms.

We need to start looking at marriage the same way we look at politics. Marriage needs to be severed in 4 years terms.

How will this work?

Easy! It starts when you find the person you love, or like... maybe even like-like. Honestly it doesn't matter. So let's just say tolerate. Upon finding this person you get one of their friends or family to nominate you for 'Husband/Wife'. From that time you begin to campaign to their peers. Note that others may run against you at this time. Old high school flames, lonely coworkers, the guy who makes the donuts, anyone can run for this office. Then you must prove to them you're 'the one'. You also pick a 'vice spouse' who will assume your duties if you're unable to (death, lost at sea, running from the alter). If their peers find you acceptable and marriage worthy, they vote you in and you begin a four year term as spouse.

During the term you must completely fulfill the role as spouse as you will be under much scrutiny. Success is usually judged by what you do in the first 100 days. "Did you fulfill their sexual needs, are you nice to their parents, do you pretend you want to watch Dancing with the Stars together". All of this is noted and reviewed.

Upon this time if you wish to have children you must present it to your friends and family in a bill. That bill must be approved before having children. This will prevent dumb people from breeding as inadequate parents will immediately have their bill vetoed.

Cheating, unlike politics, may result in impeachment or a Movie of the Week.

At the end of the four year term you must run for marriage again. Note that at that time others may once again run againts you. This is why you must always work to maintain your approval rating. Nothing is worse that being a one term spouse.

If successful you may start another term. There are no term limits and if you're a worthy spouse, you can hold the office for life.

Now, here is where it gets good. At the end of any term, if you no longer wish to be the 'spouse', then you can decide not to run. You're free to begin writing your memoirs and start construction of your spousal library.

Let's face it. The district (spouse) you're attached to tends to change over time. Sometimes the district has a new attitude, it has grown over time by 30-60 lbs or even give up on waxing its upper lip hair.

I truly believe this is the answer for marriage. If this was instated I could see me getting married 5 or 6 more times. This time I will make sure I have a better campaign manager.

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