A few weeks ago we started hyping up the upcoming Broken Newz TV. It is going to be a weekly 60 second newsfeed of ME (weeee) reading the ne...

BNTV

A few weeks ago we started hyping up the upcoming Broken Newz TV. It is going to be a weekly 60 second newsfeed of ME (weeee) reading the news. It was set back a few weeks due to sound issues. Do not buy cheap wireless mics. Anyways....we are hoping to begin show 1 this Monday. I hope you can stomach it

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Not that is really matters, but I have decided to add a comment section to my posts. Only because I am so bad at getting back to people via ...

NOW WITH COMMENTS

Not that is really matters, but I have decided to add a comment section to my posts. Only because I am so bad at getting back to people via email. I see responses for things weeks after I post them.



That is all

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Oh yeah, This would be nice too Amazon.com: DVD: The Office - The Complete Collection (First And Second Series Plus Special) : "The Of...

Oh yeah, This would be nice too



Amazon.com: DVD: The Office - The Complete Collection (First And Second Series Plus Special): "The Office - The Complete Collection "

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Broken Newz is three years old. Weeeeeeeeeeeee!!!! Usually I give away prizes or what not. This year, I am going to ask for something. If a...

Broken Newz is three years old. Weeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!



Usually I give away prizes or what not. This year, I am going to ask for something. If anyone loves me....and I know someone might....you would buy me this



Oh yeah....Merry Xmas









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The site is going through a massive reconstruction. Better yet, a complete rebuild. We are moving from a Windows to a Linux server so most ...

The site is going through a massive reconstruction. Better yet, a complete rebuild. We are moving from a Windows to a Linux server so most of what we have will not work. It will have new URLS so if you had anything bookmarked other than the main page.....sorry.

We will be adding new features...as well as taking some down. On of the outbound pieces in the message boards. It is too much work taking out all the pharmacy ads placed in there daily from marketers too cheap to PAY for advertising. Oh well.....live goes on.

I am debating on deleting this blog too. I try to keep it up daily...but that never happens.

Still thinking on that one.

We have a new political cartoon coming......exciting stuff

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Dear Old Schoolers...... A friend created this game http://legions.flamewars.org/link.php?id=3 Help him beta it......and waste a few hou...

Dear Old Schoolers......



A friend created this game



http://legions.flamewars.org/link.php?id=3



Help him beta it......and waste a few hours (days)

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Where has our site been? Good question. For some reason our host could not keep it up. Why can't you access stories? Another good quest...

Where has our site been? Good question. For some reason our host could not keep it up.



Why can't you access stories? Another good question. It appears that since they moved it to a new server they have not install all the software yet



When will BN be fully functional again? Million dollar question. Soon I hope

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It has been raining here for several days. I might as well be living in Seattle. Kinda putting me in a slump. Fortunately.....my writers spr...

It has been raining here for several days. I might as well be living in Seattle. Kinda putting me in a slump. Fortunately.....my writers spread across the globe keep BN going. I really have nothing to say in the entry, I think I am just rambling.



Oh yeah, looks like we are going to try to get a movie made. We will be taking donations for this. Each donation will make you an EXECUTIVE PRODUCER to the film. Groovy huh? If you would like more info about this, gimme a shout. I should have a page up soon with more info.



Also, I am growing my goatee back. Not sure why. I grew it 10 years ago to look older. But now that I am 35, I do not think I need the extra help. Maybe I think it will do the reverse now. Who knows.



Back to looking at the rain

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MSNBC did a little piece on internet satire....if you watch the end of the piece, you might recognize a site http://www.mikesejournal.com/...

MSNBC did a little piece on internet satire....if you watch the end of the piece, you might recognize a site





http://www.mikesejournal.com/htt100504.html



Thanks Dale

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Yesterday the Cubs (my team) knocked themselves out of the wildcard spot. Fortunately I accepted this conclusion days ago. I forecasted thei...

Yesterday the Cubs (my team) knocked themselves out of the wildcard spot. Fortunately I accepted this conclusion days ago. I forecasted their demise and prepared for worse. I have no idea why they fell apart, but once again.....they are gone. Last year when they were 5 outs away from the big show and took a digger....I was numb for a few days......then sad......then angry...then horny...they sad again. So now I can get beyond all that and prepare for the return of American Gladiators.



weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee



Oh yeah....anyone else notice that our site is down a lot lately? If you are looking for a host. Stay away from m6.net. They really bite the big one.

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Looking for content for your site? Use our new and improved RSS feed. If you use it, let me know and I will add your site to our links page....

Looking for content for your site? Use our new and improved RSS feed. If you use it, let me know and I will add your site to our links page.



http://www.brokennewz.com/xml/feed.asp





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Anyone want a gmail invite? Lemme know

Anyone want a gmail invite? Lemme know

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Three years ago, an act of terrorism caused the last dot.com company I worked for to lay me off. The dickhead who sent me off to fend for my...

Three years ago, an act of terrorism caused the last dot.com company I worked for to lay me off. The dickhead who sent me off to fend for myself during one of the WORST times in history to find a job was Tracy Lotz. Oops, did I just say his name?



Anyways, this of course helped me realize I could only rely on myself for future. From there, Broken Newz was launched.



Thanks dickhead



Oh yeah, read this great article on another website by one of our favorite writers, Joe Peacock

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Elvis is alive, and I have proof. Obviously, if he was going to be living anywhere, it would be Vegas. But of course by now he would be out ...

Elvis is alive, and I have proof. Obviously, if he was going to be living anywhere, it would be Vegas. But of course by now he would be out of money and have to be taking a real job. What sort of skills OTHER than music would he have? I believe he would be driving a janitorial truck. I believe I am right and here is my proof







I took this with my cellphone so it is not very clear. But OBVIOUSLY Elvis. So far none of the major papers have offered to purchase my photo, but I know someone is going to step up to the plate soon.

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I have a new favorite show . David Brent is now my personal hero. I know this has been around for a while. It has been on my list to watch f...

I have a new favorite show. David Brent is now my personal hero. I know this has been around for a while. It has been on my list to watch for a while. I finally got some free time. Art

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Got a little write up in USA Today .

Got a little write up in USA Today.

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We are now officially an urban legend http://www.snopes.com/music/artists/hung.asp

We are now officially an urban legend



http://www.snopes.com/music/artists/hung.asp

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We have been invaded by hate mail consisting of an ocean of bad english. Perhaps that is why I find humor in this picture I took in the toy ...

We have been invaded by hate mail consisting of an ocean of bad english. Perhaps that is why I find humor in this picture I took in the toy section of Walmart.



From a far, harmless enough







But upon further review





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For the first time since we have begun our daily updates, Broken Newz skipped an update. But not just one, a whole week of updates. The reas...

For the first time since we have begun our daily updates, Broken Newz skipped an update. But not just one, a whole week of updates. The reason is, I was moving. So it was a great excuse to give everyone a week off.



But what a horrid move it was. I wanted to ease my pain of moving, so I hired movers. I figured this would simplify my life and give me more time to worry about other items. I am only moving 45 miles north. More mountains, less heat. So this move should be short and sweet.



Movers come, tell me they have a 35 ft trailer. Well, it was…on top. The actual floor was 15 ft less. They counted the cab over. So it seemed all my stuff DID NOT FIT. Not only that, they had scheduled another moving job later that day so they were in a bit of a hurry. Because of this, once they realized they could not take everything, they did not bother to completely load their trailer….much was left behind.



They arrived at my new house. Here was a nice shocker, the carpet guys had not finished, and the house was a mix of plywood, foaming and loose carpet for flooring. Therefore, the movers had to put everything in the garage. There goes my dream of not moving anything. They left, offered to bring the rest of my stuff up later for the price of another trip. I said no thanks. I decided it would be easier to borrow a friend’s truck.



That night I slept on the floor, it was like camping…but sucky.



Prior to the move, I called up Qwest to have my phone number changed and DSL at my home when I arrived. They said “no problem, it will be ready when you arrived.” I arrived, no DSL. I called up; it turned out DSL is not available in my area yet. How nice of them to research it since I expressed I REALLY needed it when I arrive. I was at a loss. I had a cable modem before with Charter but they are not available here yet. I was told that a company called Bresnan offered cable internet, so I called. No problem I hear again. Someone will be there tomorrow. I was not home, but made sure I had a live body at my house when they arrived. I came home to find a cable coming through the door leading to my garage, connected to a cable box sitting on my dryer, connecting to my TV. If I wanted to watch television, the door leading to my garage needed to be open. That is purdy professional I guess. I called again asking to have that fixed. I also asked why my internet was not working. It seemed he did not have time to work on that. I guess he was too busy installing cable in my laundry room.



He comes back. Seemed shocked I did not like his set up. Assured me my cable internet would be working when he left….he left….was not working. I was segments of internet. 30 seconds up…..2 minutes down. A tech support agent had me check my computer as if I was 5 years old. I told him I had a good idea of what I was doing and please just send someone over. Today, I am going to see the cable guy again. His third time….he must like me. So far I am really unimpressed with Bresnan, the cable quality is horrid. The channel set up makes no sense and I think they work banker’s hours.



There, I have whined enough

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NOMAR IS A CUBBIE!!! How awesome is that?

NOMAR IS A CUBBIE!!! How awesome is that?

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A little follow up to the Hung story. It seems that the China Press posted ....well...let's call it stole....our story and placed it for...

A little follow up to the Hung story. It seems that the China Press posted ....well...let's call it stole....our story and placed it for several days on their main page. Hundreds of thousands read it, and believed it, then Googled it to our site. When then finally realized it was satire, were very upset. Most of our new oversea readers did not like being fooled and showered us with praise....well...let's call it hate mail and death threats. We received phone calls, emails, unfavorable survey comments, love in the forum, etc. In most part, we fear we may have inadvertently extended Mr. Hung's undeserved 15 minutes of fame. An action we cannot excuse ourselves from. Either way, our sincere regrets to the Hung family. Not for misleading the public, but for having an awkward spectacle for a son.

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I was looking around at the message board at the new comments from our friends over seas who did not catch we were a satire site as we poste...

I was looking around at the message board at the new comments from our friends over seas who did not catch we were a satire site as we posted our story about William Hung



Such comments as



Your web site makes a crappy piece of shite.
 
and
 
wtf is that supposed to mean? and william hung is not dead u idiot. how would u feel if somebody posted that ur family got blown up by osama bin laden? bunch of retarded fuks
 
also
 
When will you die? Hope in a second... SHUT YOUR BLOODY WEBSITE DOWN!!! FBI WILL COME>>> A REAL IDIOT!
 
not to forgot
 
WTF IS THIS SITE??!?!?!?!?! TO PUT SUCH SICKENING GAY FAKE NEWS?!?!?! NEGROS!!!!
 
There are others wishing for us to die, yet die quick. So thanks to all our new readers. We love you too!!

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I got a new cell phone today. The sucker is a monster . In the past I have always gone for the smaller phones. But this one has mega bells a...

I got a new cell phone today. The sucker is a monster. In the past I have always gone for the smaller phones. But this one has mega bells and whistles. I am excited about the video sending ability. I am hoping to incorporate it with the site. Should be fun

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I am getting ready to move. In the past, I have always rented a truck, loaded, unloaded all by myself. Usually costs me $500 plus and a pain...

I am getting ready to move. In the past, I have always rented a truck, loaded, unloaded all by myself. Usually costs me $500 plus and a painful back. I called a place out of the blue who will load, drive, unload for $400. I guess with age comes wisdom or some lame deal like that. Cause I was too stupid to think of that before.

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Happy 4th of July. I now have 3 more gmail accounts if anyone wants them. You can email me at my gmail address which is billdoty @ gmail.com...

Happy 4th of July. I now have 3 more gmail accounts if anyone wants them. You can email me at my gmail address which is billdoty @ gmail.com.



Going back to the 4th. Currently I am living outside of Vegas just over the Utah border. Less hustle and bustle but with all the heat and desert. Anywhoooo, it appears that due to the high level of a certain religion in the area, they are celebrating the 4th....on the 3rd. WTF? Well, no matter. Tonight I will be launching firework and drinking beer hot and heavy on the 4TH of JULY!!!!



Let freedom ring.....until about 2 am.

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I have a few gmail accounts to give away. Any reader interested email me at bill@brokennewz.com. First 5 emails get one. Apparently, you ar...

I have a few gmail accounts to give away. Any reader interested email me at bill@brokennewz.com. First 5 emails get one.



Apparently, you are not cool unless you have one.

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Roll that beautiful bean footage! I saw this banner on our site today I thought to myself "who would want a newsletter on beans? W...

Roll that beautiful bean footage!



I saw this banner on our site today







I thought to myself "who would want a newsletter on beans?



Well, we would. I have signed up for the newsletter, and plan to post them here. I am very excited about my new lease on life with beans!

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I am thankful to say goodbye to such a busy week. I would like to thank my friend Sharky for getting me a gmail account. It is not as much ...

I am thankful to say goodbye to such a busy week. I would like to thank my friend Sharky for getting me a gmail account. It is not as much as needing one...just wanted to be cool. We did an interview this week that will be posted on Monday that I am VERY excited about. We also have some incredible interviews on the way. I have been getting more and more submissions lately, I am thinking of starting weekend editor again. But do I really need to burden myself with MORE work? Perhaps it is time to start hiring again....anyone....anyone....bueller?

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My good buddy Brian is off to Australia. I am handling his webcam again...be sure to check it out.

My good buddy Brian is off to Australia. I am handling his webcam again...be sure to check it out.

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1 days, 18 hours, 20 minutes, and 41 seconds That is (at present) the amount of time the Olsens are funny E! Online just did a small inter...

1 days, 18 hours, 20 minutes, and 41 seconds



That is (at present) the amount of time the Olsens are funny



E! Online just did a small interview with me







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Playing around on Fark I found this . I know it has been around for a while, I just never took it. I finally took it. Guess I am not as Con...

Playing around on Fark I found this. I know it has been around for a while, I just never took it. I finally took it. Guess I am not as Conservative as previously thought



Here are my results.

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Yesterday I did something I have not done in years....if ever. I washed my wallet (by accident). The trip though the washing machine was not...

Yesterday I did something I have not done in years....if ever. I washed my wallet (by accident). The trip though the washing machine was not as bad as I feared. It just left some items a bit soggy. I have had that wallet for 10 years. I guess it is time to get a new one...but this one is so clean now, hard to let it go.

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My desktop is fearfully old and outdated. I know this....I accept this. I have upgraded it as far as I possibly can. I have been working off...

My desktop is fearfully old and outdated. I know this....I accept this. I have upgraded it as far as I possibly can. I have been working off my laptop more and more due to this. If I was to buy a new computer today, what should I get? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?



Also, if you just want to send it to me....I will not stop you.

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Super Troopers was such a great movie. Kept me laughing the whole 90 minutes. When I heard they were making Club Dread, I was extremely exci...

Super Troopers was such a great movie. Kept me laughing the whole 90 minutes. When I heard they were making Club Dread, I was extremely excited. I never had time to see it in the theater so I waited for the dvd...which was yesterday. I did not bother to rent it, a purchase made far more sense.



Ack...I want my money back.



What happened? I was waiting for the jokes to start, they never did. I was so destroyed. Especially since I talked up a movie to my friends that I had never seen. I was relying on their merits, I now am the fool. I will probably watch it again to assure I was not in the wrong frame of mind at the time. But I am pretty sure it sucked.

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There once was a guy named Kevin. He had a site. He was a poo poo head. Everyone left his site. Now he is all alone. The end. I love happy ...

There once was a guy named Kevin. He had a site. He was a poo poo head. Everyone left his site. Now he is all alone. The end.



I love happy endings

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I have been getting emails from readers who ask why I do not have a comment section here. Which surprises me two ways. First Cause anyone...

I have been getting emails from readers who ask why I do not have a comment section here. Which surprises me two ways.



First



Cause anyone reads this



Second



That anyone would really want to respond to my gibberish.



If anyone really has something to say, email me or post it in our forum.



Send me something good...and I will post it.

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Yesterday around noon(ish) a fiberoptic line was cut outside of the city. There was no phoneline, internet or even cellular. It was like bei...

Yesterday around noon(ish) a fiberoptic line was cut outside of the city. There was no phoneline, internet or even cellular. It was like being in a tiny cardboard box.



Scary how I depend on those items.



It was fixed sometime through the night, we managed to publish....life it good



Oh yeah, to people who keep stealing our images and removing our URLS



stop, your suck.

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Since day one, we have been running off a windows server. Bad choice on our part. We have come to the conclusion that we need to go linux. T...

Since day one, we have been running off a windows server. Bad choice on our part. We have come to the conclusion that we need to go linux. This will speed up the site, use less bandwidth and lower our hosting costs.



When this happens, we will lose a lot of the existing URLS. These things happen. If anyone has ever switched from windows to linux, I would love to hear your tales. Shot me an email

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One of our writers (Joe Peacock) had a true story he wrote turned into a short film. Click here to check it out.

One of our writers (Joe Peacock) had a true story he wrote turned into a short film. Click here to check it out.

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I have been sucked into a few seasons of Survivor, this last season was one. Hoorah for Rupert Truly the most deserving Survivor. Sad t...

I have been sucked into a few seasons of Survivor, this last season was one.



Hoorah for Rupert



Truly the most deserving Survivor.



Sad that I care so much

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Apparently Spike Lee has confused President Bush with the Clintons when he said he was 'Surprised' that Bush administration hasn'...

Apparently Spike Lee has confused President Bush with the Clintons when he said he was 'Surprised' that Bush administration hasn't killed Michael Moore. Spike Lee has been at the base of other outlandish accusation such as the claims that he and Denzel Washington was 'dissed' by the academy awards for Malcolm X because he was black. Of course this was partial rectified (if you feel it needed to be rectified) as Denzel finally won the best actor award.



But my point here is....



If you are an actor/celebrity/whatever in the public eye, obviously people are going to listen. Whether you publish a cookbook, or talk about the evil in the Whitehouse. Use some common sense, for people will believe your stupidity. Wil Wheaton has a blog which he often posts his distaste for the current administration. His long list of webfans take his word for gold. Yet most are uneducated in politics, so they look to him to set their own worldly opinion. Now they are armed with only ideas and no knowledge. Very scary.



Popularity among the mass is a tool others should use wisely. Just remember, no matter how lame or outlandish your words may be, people are going to listen.



And watch out Michael Moore, Bush and Rummie might just be popping a cap in your ass.

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Apparently the Paktribune discovered they stole a satire article. Their facts checker must be a few days behind. The article is now down. F...

Apparently the Paktribune discovered they stole a satire article. Their facts checker must be a few days behind. The article is now down.



Funny little Pakies.



I just read on the same site that Osama's family trying to build the worlds tallest skyscraper. I am not sure if I should believe it coming from this site. But if it is true, how ironic is that? Hope they are insured.

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Occasionally we have had people believe our stories, it happens. Sometimes they are so close to the truth they can throw you off. Other site...

Occasionally we have had people believe our stories, it happens. Sometimes they are so close to the truth they can throw you off. Other sites have this problem too.



But I have to wonder when a source falls for a story so far off. This was not from our site, but another satire site.



The best part is, the Pakistan site did not even give credit when they stole it. How nice is that? People are savages.

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Pumping me up. Lately I have become far less active. My summers use to be filled with Softball, my winters basketball. I filled in the spa...

Pumping me up.



Lately I have become far less active. My summers use to be filled with Softball, my winters basketball. I filled in the spaces by riding my bike, volleyball, etc. I have not had time for any of this and it is starting to show. I am officially in the worst shape I have ever been.



I have joined the gym.



This is not the first time I have joined the gym. Sometimes it just makes you feel special to say you belong, even if you do not go. I am going to go. Infact, I might even post my progress along the way. I plan on going this coming week (No, I have not officially gone yet). If anyone has some great motiviational words or stories, I would love to hear them.



Feel the burn



The gym will take my measurements on day one. I will post them then. Right now I know I am 225lbs. Two years ago I was riding 205. I am 6'4" so I believe 210 is a good weight for me to be at. Who knows.

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Tomorrow night E! Television is showing their Olsen Twins special. We are told Broken Newz is getting some free PR on the show. Be sure to c...

Tomorrow night E! Television is showing their Olsen Twins special. We are told Broken Newz is getting some free PR on the show. Be sure to check it out (Pervs)



Here is a preview

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Genn F. Where did you go?

Genn F. Where did you go?

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Hero

Hero

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Almost a decade ago I purchase a gas bbq. It was nothing special, I was not a rich man. I was a hungry man. The bbq took 10 seasons of snow,...

Almost a decade ago I purchase a gas bbq. It was nothing special, I was not a rich man. I was a hungry man. The bbq took 10 seasons of snow, rain, heat, beer and bbq sauce spills. Eventually we named it Frankenque.



I loved Frankenque. I used Frankenque several times a week feeding many many mouths. Many took the time to poke fun at it. Yet each weekend they returned, eager for Volleyball and food.



Yesterday, I bought a new bbq. It is a monster. Twice the size of my Frankenque.



Does this mean I will love it more? No.



I will always love you Frankenque.

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Help one of our writers (Joe Peacock) kick cancers ass! Wouldn't you like to do something good today?

Help one of our writers (Joe Peacock) kick cancers ass!



Wouldn't you like to do something good today?

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I guess I missed the interview with the NEW YORK POST , A reader just sent it to me.

I guess I missed the interview with the NEW YORK POST, A reader just sent it to me.

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It makes me feel dirty to admit that one of our most popular features is our Olsen Twins Countdown. It receives thousands of hits each day. ...

It makes me feel dirty to admit that one of our most popular features is our Olsen Twins Countdown. It receives thousands of hits each day. It has also received a ton of outside of hype. As of this second it only has 47 days, 1 hours, 48 minutes, and 12 seconds of funny left. I was recently interviewed by the N.Y. Post over this feature as well as being included in a televised special running on E! Television on May 5th. A part of me will miss our countdown, part of me will be happy to see it go.

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Since I am seldom at my desk anymore, I figured blogger.com would be the best option for me to update my ramblings. For all three of you who...

Since I am seldom at my desk anymore, I figured blogger.com would be the best option for me to update my ramblings. For all three of you who read this, I plan to run daily updates. If I am feeling sassy, twice a day. Not that I really have that much to say.

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Here is the link to the past posts

Here is the link to the past posts



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I am switching to a new blogging program, hopes this will help my updates

I am switching to a new blogging program, hopes this will help my updates

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